ok for those of you not in the know about me - i have Chronic Derpression brough on by the death of my parents 12 years ago - and cause i never talked about it it festered inside me and wasnt till 2004 that i finally started thearpthy and started on antideprresants - that all the pain that i had kept inside all started coming out
then i started having anxity attacks cause of it - for the last 3 years i have been an emotinal whreck but i have improved - i still have my down periods - it plays havoc with my emotional state - if i get to upset or anger i well have a anxity attack and have to do special excerises to calm down - i am off the antideppresents now i only take em occoasially

so word to others - yes Depression can ruin your life - but you can bounce back from it - it takes time - i just had to writoe this down to make myself feel better after the letdown yesterday - i feel usless and its hard to get out of a funk - but talking about it does help (or writign i down)
but it makes it so hard to make friends to cauuse of bad irl experiances the surfaced whe i was on thearpth - the teasing and torment i went thru went i school - and the guilt that i never told my parents (even thou they said stand up for yuoruself easier said then done) and being classifed as a 'retard'

yes it all in the past now - but its very hard to forget - i have few friends irl but those i do have and on sl i hold dear to me - i feel a bit better getting this off my chest
at least - so ya i needed a rant








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